i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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