so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
