last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
