I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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