I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
