Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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