it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
that may or may not have been my penis.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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