dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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