no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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