she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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