Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
