whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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