He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
