chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
