Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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