i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
