Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
two words: eviction party
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
we're so committed to being not committed
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
