how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
