he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So many bounce houses so little time
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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