i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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