don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
