careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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