please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
