apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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