i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Say something about gay babies.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
