All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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