they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
