That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
