My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
