He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize