I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
