can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
