you win again, gameday.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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