I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
