I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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