good thing vaginas are great cup holders
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
