So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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