Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
