That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
