That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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