u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
