He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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