Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
