Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
