I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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