Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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