If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
