Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
