I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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