Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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