Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
