8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize