I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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