My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
