Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
