just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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