Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
