This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
