I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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