Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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