I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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