cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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